I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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