The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
