this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
