Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
