she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
