How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
