I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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