i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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