"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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