i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
