like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you didnt know i had herpes?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
