batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Holy sore nipples Batman
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
