david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize