Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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