dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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