i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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