Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
