Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your face is a jimmy john
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
