conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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