I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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