the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There's even glitter on my cock...
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