at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
