the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
