he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
