Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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