Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can I color on your dick again?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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