I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
