I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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