I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just forgot I was standing up.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
