I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
