My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
