My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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