How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
