Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
