Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
