Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
