our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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