Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
