I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
