did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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