if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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