my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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