Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I will be naked everywhere
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
