Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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