I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
