I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
