we have officially lost it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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