I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
