She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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