So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
