I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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