I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
