They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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