Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
