I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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