Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
