Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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