no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize