Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
