would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
