OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
