fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
