who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
