It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i need some magic done to my vagina
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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