You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm at about main and main street
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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