Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize