i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so let's talk penis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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