i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
