Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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