i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
