Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize