hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
