I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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