The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
