either way he was missing a nipple.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize