If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
