just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
