It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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