Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
