I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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