my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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